I've stood at the dawn of July's morning,
I've run through amber waves of midwest grain,
I've touched the point where the breakers were forming,
I've slept 'neath a crescent moon on the wane,
In all these things never once did I see,
An aspect granting you the right to deny,
A generation its own poetry,
A child his dream on the Fourth of July.
And I'll stand again at July's morning,
I'll run again 'cross an Ohio plane,
As sure as I see dark thunderheads forming,
It's Noah's new moon, it's going to rain.
The web's the wild ocean, these words my boat,
Postmodernism shall sink, these truths shall float.
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OUR DECLARATION
OF LITERARY INDEPENDENCE
by Captain Ahab, Red Avenger, and Bluebeard
The unanimous Declaration of the Red Avengers of all
that is Right and True.
When in the Course of human events, it becomes
necessary for one people to dissolve the political and
literary bands which have connected them with another,
and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate
and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of
Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the
opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the
causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men
are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator
with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are
Life, Liberty, the pursuit of Happiness, and a good book.
That to secure these rights, Governments and Presses (not
to be confused with one-another) are instituted among
Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the
governed. That whenever any Form of Government becomes
destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People
to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new
Government and Presses, laying their foundations on such
principles and organizing their powers in such form, as
to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and
Happiness.
Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Presses long
established should not be changed for light and transient
causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that
mankind are more disposed to suffer feminist literature,
while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by
abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed.
But when a long train of abuses and usurpations,
pursuing invariably the same object evinces a design to
reduce them under absolute Despotism, Deconstructionism,
Nihilism, Postmodernism, Radical Feminism, and Modern
Liberalism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw
off such Government, and Commanders of afflicted
Intellectual Institutions, and to provide new Guards for
their future security.
Such has been the patient sufferance of our generation
and American culture at large; and such is now the
necessity which constrains them to alter their former
Systems of Government. The history of the present Liberal
Industrial-Culture Complex is a history of repeated
injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the
establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States,
and the intellectual soul of my generation. To prove
this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
They have refused to publish words that mean things,
the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
They have forbidden us to speak to the people in
subtle terms, awakening and enhancing their rationale.
They have forbidden their presses to publish our works
of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in
their operation till their Assent should be obtained, and
when so suspended, they have utterly neglected to attend
to them. Drake's sonnets have been at one of those
corporate-conglomerate presses for over six months now,
and the editor in charge of it, Suzie Greenberg, won't
give us even a hint of an opinion. She seemed pretty
annoyed when we called, like we were bothering her, but
she talked with us for an hour when we said we were
reporters from Details magazine. We have that on tape.
They have refused to publish books for the
accommodation of large districts of people, unless those
people would relinquish the right of reading words that
mean things, a right inestimable to them and formidable
to tyrants only.
They have called together legislative bodies and
faculty meetings at places unusual, uncomfortable, and
distant from the heartland of America, and the citizens
of my generation, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them
into compliance with their measures, like Slacker
Handbooks.
They have disappeared conservatives in Creative
Writing Classes repeatedly, for opposing with manly
firmness the cultural elite's invasions on the rights of
the people to have good poetry written for them.
They have refused for a long time, after such
dissolutions, to let great texts be published; whereby
the NEA powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned
to the Creative Writing Teachers at large for their
exercise; the State of our souls remaining in the
meantime exposed to all the dangers of invasion from
without, and convulsions within.
They have obstructed the Administration of Justice, by
refusing their Assent to Laws established by common
sense.
They have made Professors dependent on their Will
alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount
and payment of their salaries.
They have erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent
hither swarms of Officers to harass our people, and eat
out their substance.
They have kept among us, in times of cultural
nihilism, Standing Armies of Liberal Novelists, without
the consent of our desire to read anything they write.
They have affected to render the University
independent of and superior to the Civil power.
They have combined with others to subject us to a
nihilism and pornography foreign to Western Culture and
unacknowledged by our higher sensibilities and common
sense; giving their Assent to their Acts of pretended
Intellectualism:
- For protecting them by a mock Trial from
punishment for any Murders of which they should
commit on the Great Texts, by devious
interpretations:
- For cutting off our Thoughts from all parts of
the University:
- For publishing books that signify nothing, and
calling them, "The Catcher in the Rye of the
Grunge Generation."
- For imposing Tuition hikes on us without our
Consent:
- For depriving us in many cases of the benefits of
Trial by a Jury of our peers, when we suggest the
books that they market towards us suck:
- For transporting us beyond the context of our
peers, and calling us out in the hallway before
class, to be tried for pretended offences:
- For abolishing the free System of Western
Culture, and Truth, and Objectivity in Creative
Writing Departments, establishing therein an
Arbitrary government, and enlarging its
Boundaries so as to render it at once an example
and fit instrument for introducing the same
absolute rule into the New York Publishing Houses
and the rest of the Cultural Elite Media
Industry:
- For taking away the Rules of Higher Literature,
abolishing our most valuable Laws of language,
and altering fundamentally the Forms of our
Intellectual Institutions:
- For suspending the mind of this generation, and
declaring themselves invested with power to
publish literature for us in all cases
whatsoever, waging War against our intellect and
common sense.
- For destroying man's most fundamental Private
Property-- the Truth.
They have plundered our Universities, ravaged our
Heritage, burnt our Beliefs, and destroyed the Canon.
They are at this time transporting large Armies of
young Liberal slackademics to complete the works of
death, debaucherie, and deconstruction, begun with
circumstances of televised cruelty and perfidy scarcely
paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally
unworthy the Heads of a civilized nation.
They have constrained our fellow Citizens taken
Captive in liberal institutions to bear Arms against
their Heritage, to become the executioners of their
Friends' ideals and Brethren, or to fall themselves by
their Hands.
They have excited domestic insurrections amongst us,
and have endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our
frontiers, the merciless embittered fringe feminist,
whose known rule of warfare is an undistinguished
destruction of all Great Literature, Great Science, and
Religion.
In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned
for Redress in the most humble terms. Our manuscripts
have always included nice cover letters, printed on
bonded paper. Our repeated Petitions have been answered
only by repeated injury. An editor, whose character is
thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is
unfit to be the editor of a free people.
Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Cultural
Elite brethren.
We have warned them from time to time of attempts by
their electronic media industries to extend an
unwarrantable jurisdiction over the souls of children. We
have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration
and settlement here, to intellectual plains beyond MTV
and Douglas Coupland's books. We have appealed to their
native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them
by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these
usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our
connections and correspondence.
They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of
consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the
necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them,
as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace
Friends.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the Mutineers of
Meaning, on the quarterdeck of The Jolly Roger,
Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world
for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and
by the authority of the good People of our Generation,
and all the Americans in fly-over country, too, solemnly
publish and declare.
That our Generation is, and of Right ought to be Free
and Independent People; that they are Absolved from all
Allegiance to People magazine, Cultural Elite Opinions,
and any more Woodstocks.
and that all political connection between this
Generation and the Cultural Elite is and ought to be
totally dissolved, except for our Columbia House
memberships, for those of us who have almost earned a
bonus CD;
and that as Free and Independent People, this
generation has full Power to levy Intellectual War,
conclude Intellectual Peace, contract Alliances, call a
liberal a liberal, establish Commerce, resurrect a
cultural context in which marriages last, think for
itself,
and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent
People may of right do, like write Books with Plots and
Moral, Sober characters who sometimes experience Profound
Insights. And for the support of this Declaration, with a
firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we
mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes,
our future job prospects at Universities and in the
Publishing World, and our sacred Honor.
The signers of the Declaration represent the new
Intellectual Areas as follows:
Poetry and Physics:
Drake "Red Avenger" Raft
Poetry and Philosophy:
Becket "Bluebeard" Knottingham
Prose and Physics:
Elliot "Ahab" McGucken.
***THE CREW SPEAKS OUT*** From: "Chris R.
Johns"
To: becket@jollyroger.com
Subject: Problems in Kentucky
Ahoy,
Greetings from the bluegrass state where the
closest thing we have to an ocean is the local LJS.
There is a movement that is currently sweeping the
history departments here at the University of
Kentucky that I thought you should know about. To
complete my university requirement, I took HIS 108
(US history through 1865). The biggest shock awaited
me. As the class unfolded, my favorite president,
Thomas Jefferson, was trashed. Forget the fact that
he was an instrumental founding father who penned
some of the greatest documents in history. Forget the
fact he led the nation with a sound heart and mind.
Forget the fact he doubled the nation's size. All the
professor wanted to talk about was his affair with
his slave and his hypocritical views on slavery.
Aaaaarrrrgggghhh... He slipped into tirades where he
dragged Jefferson through the mud and stated that all
historians were starting to think along the same
lines. Say it ain't so maties. Can they do this?
Chris "Poop Deck Pappy" Johns
THE CAPTAIN RESPONDS: Yeah, I guess they can do
that, 'cause Jefferson and the Founding Fathers
provided them with the freedom of speech, even though
Jefferson & Friends certainly never advocated
supporting embittered desecrators of our Western
heritage with taxes. You can bet they're spinning in
their graves. But too, the founding fathers knew that
this would happen. And thus the founding fathers
included within the United States Constitution
amendments which guarentee us the freedoms that allow
us to ridicule that which is ridiculous, laugh at
that which is risible, and defend that which is
sacred. Jefferson said that a little rebellion now
and then is a good thing, for he foresaw the
corruption of his ideals. Jefferson perceived that
God granted man freedom in granting him life, and
this fundamental precept instilled within him the
faith that in a free society a divine order would
prevail, where the righteous and honest would
ultimately triumph over all forms of ignorance,
tyranny, or corruption. And so it is that in the
United Sates we're free to read, respect, and honor
Jefferson; we're free to enjoy his exalting words.
We're free to allow his writings to meld with our
souls and inspire us to become independent, moral
thinkers, to follow that never-ending thought I call
freedom. And we're free to talk about him and build a
literary warship upon which we're free to revel in
the richness of the American heritage. Thomas
Jefferson once said that he could not live without
books, and neither can a moral democracy. Check out
the Thomas Jefferson and American Revolution Campfire
Chats, which we here dedicate to ye, the fearless
readers of The Jolly Roger, on this Independence Day,
so that ye might enjoy yer intellectual freedom:
http://killdevilhill.com/jeffersonchat/wwwboard.html
http://killdevilhill.com/revolutionchat/wwwboard.html
From: Wda99@
To: becket@jollyroger.com
Subject: Inspiration
Dear Becket,
Being new to the WWW, I just found the
jolllyroger. As a retired engineer, with no writing
talent, I was inspired by your writing. You have
great writing talent as well as a very logical mind,
which an engineer can appreciate.
Keep up the great writing. I will spread the word
on the jollyroger in my small world.
THE CAPTAIN RESPONDS: Ahoy there! Beauty's in the
beholder's eye.
From: Tealeh@
To: becket@jollyroger.com
Subject: certain poems
Mr. Knottingham,
Are the poems in the killdevilhill gallery yours?
They are excellent-I want to know where I can
purchase them.
A fellow poet-warrior, jp
THE CAPTAIN RESPONDS: Thank ye! Becket's poems are
all free at the moment, and ye can view them at http://killdevilhill.com/gallery.html
But ye can purchase Drake's sonnets at http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/poetryofdrake.html
From: WRalph@
To: drake@jollyroger.com
Subject: the drake raft field trip
elliot-
i am loving your book. every un-PC joke my brother
and i ever made is in there - the far side lab guy,
lesbegay magazine and feminist literature
(clittorally speaking is perfect) and the chinese
assistant who speaks no english etc etc. i love the
kids' reactions to everything, like response of
pretending to be homeless to increase sensitivity. i
guess they're what older people call refreshing but
it's just that they are what we all think and no one
says. there is some author, and of course i can't
remember who it is right now, whom i love just
because he/she always knows exactly what is going on
in people's heads. em forster maybe. i'll remember
later. all the college stuff is totally true to life
- the secret societies, the social life, the theater
people, and i love the fact that drake got kicked out
of class b/c his poems rhymed. every little nuance
actually exists. the people are reminding me of
friends of mine. it's great. i hope this jolly roger
mission of yours succeeds. if i weren't here, i'd
help. write back. weatherly
THE CAPTAIN RESPONDS: Thank ye for the kind review
matie! The Drake Raft Field Trip can be ordered at
http://jollyroger.com/rogerlodge.html
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From: MSLYNCH@
To: drake@jollyroger.com
Subject: Re: THE JOLLY ROGER: FATHER'S DAY EXTRA
www.jollyroger.com
Ahoy mates!
What an inspiring bit of prose you managed to put
together for fathers day, God love ya! Where are all
the sane people in the world? Someone let them know
we've found a safe haven! Great job!
Thanks,
Mark Lynch
THE CAPTAIN RESPONDS: Ahoy there parents who're
trying to introduce yer children to the Great Books.
Check out TREASURE ISLAND at http://jollyroger.com/treasureisland.html
From: John Flugel
To: drake@jollyroger.com
Subject: Re: THE JOLLY ROGER: FATHER'S DAY EXTRA
www.jollyroger.com
You guys kick major butt! I am a 15 year old book
worm, who defitnely loves this Jolly Roger thing. I
like to write, but no one understands my writings. It
is an absolute shame that not even the evaluators of
knowledge think of me as a simply GOOD writer, they
put me in a class of absolute illiterates who do not
know what a paragraph is. I am no Shakesphere nor am
I close, but for one thing, I have what it takes to
become a good writer, and that is dedication, and
soul, I probrally cannot spell decently, but I know I
am good, I have had my deep, spaced moments with the
pen and paper, I know what it feels like to read a
good story, or poem, or a simple lovely phrase. But
no it is not about what I as an individual believe
in, but what the ignorant bunch called the
"public" believes in. One shall see I will
revenge on those who doubt me, I will rise above the
common, and join the philosephers (SP) of the era,
where nobleism was worshipped, and self-love was but
a thought only thought about by the dreamers the
second before they met a good friend of us, who goes
by the name of DEATH. I Love you and those around me
John Flugel
THE CAPTAIN RESPONDS: Argrhrgrhr there! Keep on
reading, writing, and thinking, keep an even keel,
steer clear of drugs, MTV sirens, and other aspects
of the postmodern fog, and watch yer port side! This
generation shall author a literary renaissance, and
we need ye to keep yer wit's pistols primed!
From: Sprowl@
To: drake@jollyroger.com
Subject: Re: THE JOLLY ROGER: FATHER'S DAY EXTRA
www.jollyroger.com
To the Jolly Roger & Crew;
As a Gen X'r and a father of two small children,
(and a student at a Midwestern university that has
liberal tendencies), I must say that you are indeed a
much needed breath of fresh air. I am fond of the
Classics, and I find your email & web site an
oasis in the midst of liberal desolation. I have
experienced the contemporary required
"writings" in some of my college classes,
including the extreme feminists whom I am greatly
puzzled by (I am amazed by the accusations that I, as
a white, European-descendant, a product of
Western-culture/civilization, and of course, as a
man, could possibly be responsible for all those
social injustices & ills...?) So, I am compelled
to write that your Father's Day sonnet is indeed
refreshing!
I plan to encourage my two boys to read the great
Classics that are so ostracized by the PC crowd.
Great literature should flourish, and not be censored
by the "thought police". Surely, if
academia had their way, my children would never read
CS Lewis, or even Twain. Such a thing is
unimaginable.
In closing, I implore you to keep up the good
work. There are In closing, I implore you to keep up
the good work. There are many of us out here who read
and enjoy the Jolly Roger's good work. As a fellow
conservative, Christian, and lover of good
literature, I conclude by bidding you to keep the
faith!
David Sprowl
THE CAPTAIN RESPONDS: Ahoy there Mr. Sprowl. Thank
ye for the kind words. When yer kids start reading
C.S. Lewis and Mark Twain, have them stop on by the
C.S. Lewis Campfire Chat and Mark Twain Campfire
Chats. No man nor mountain shall come between us and
The Great Books.
C.S. LEWIS CAMPFIRE CHAT http://killdevilhill.com/c.s.lewischat/wwwboard.html
MARK TWAIN CAMPFIRE CHAT http://killdevilhill.com/marktwainchat/wwwboard.html
From: Barret Dolph
To: becket@jollyroger.com
Subject: Keelhauling or Trampling, pick your
pleasure....
While to the outside world we may be miles apart
there is a close affinity between your ship and our
troop. Here in Taiwan I lead young children in the
White Horse troop. While after three years of study
our children are reading Tolkien, Homer, and Jane
Austen. True enough here homework is required, tests
are weekly, literature is read, and the students are
awake. We both have found that, curiously enough, to
be alive, alert, and learning is a good bit more
exciting than to be unlearned and numb. So keep those
swords, and pens, sharp, continue the course, and if
any try to evade your grasp by relocating here we
will gladly run them down.
S. Barret Dolph
Headmaster
White Horse Development Center
THE CAPTAIN RESPONDS: Argrhrgrh! The world, like
the future, is ours! Keep up the good work! Check out
the J.R. Tolkien, Jane Austen, and the Classics
Campfire Chats:
http://killdevilhill.com/tolkienchat/wwwboard.html
http://killdevilhill.com/janeaustenchat/wwwboard.html
http://killdevilhill.com/classicschat/wwwboard.html
From: Herman Melville
To: becket@jollyroger.com
Subject: From a new bucaneer . . .
I spent several years in graduate school for
literature and also grew heartily sick of Michel
Foucault and multicultural fiction that stank and
women who insisted I couldn't "understand"
Virginia Woolf because of the genitals with which I
was cursed. Any place where you can open a book and
read a line like "There is no text," and
nobody bats an eyelash, that's madness without a
method to't. Sail on, brave pirates. Some day we will
live in a world where a book will be judged not by
the color of its author, but by the quality of its
contents (apologies to MLK).
THE CAPTAIN REPONDS: Argrhrghr! And so it is that
we're seeking to unite people with a literature based
on the Truth, rather than to divide them with a
literature based on skin color and gender. And check
out our Virginia Woolf Campfire Chat, where yer free
to disucss her as an author, rather than as a
feminist.
http://www.killdevilhill.com/virginiawoolfchat/wwwboard.html
*****KILLDEVILHILL.COM
JOLLYROGER.COM*******
